You know that meme that goes around every now and then with Beyonce and Freddy Mercury? Here it is for your viewing pleasure:
I fell in love in a 7/11 parking lot (pure Klass with a "k" right there)
Sat on the curb drinking slurpees we mixed with alcohol (OK, maybe that's a thing I would do, but I have a car and I would drive back to my house before mixing them up)
We talked about all our dreams and how we would show 'em all (whoa oh oh oh) (How many of us have actually made the "big dreams" we come up with while sitting in a 7-11 parking lot, drunk on sugar and alcohol (rubbing, bourbon, vodka, she isn't specific) come true? I mean really?)
I told him I got a plan and I'm gonna dominate (this "he" is probably thinking about some pretty kinky mess and getting pretty excited at this point)
And I don't need any man to be getting in my way (total buzz kill for "he" at this point. He should bail)
But if you talk with your hands then we can negotiate (whoa oh oh oh) (you're sending "he" mixed signals at best. Do you want him to feel you up, or are you going to do that on your own?)
I just keep moving my body (yeah) (probably to keep warm because you're living in a 7-11 parking lot and who knows what season it is. get a cardboard box at least).
I'm always ready to party (yeah) (who wouldn't be, with a big gulp sized slurpee mixed with alcohol? Mobile party right there.)
No I don't listen to mommy (yeah) (Obviously, or you would have stayed in school and been drinking a real drink at a real bar, not in the parking lot of 7-11. )
And I'll never say that I'm sorry. (Rude.)
Oh I'm an American girl (are you saying this is what all American girls are like? if so, I take issue. I am an American girl and I don't drink in the parking lot of my local gas station.)
Hot blooded and I'm ready to go (most of us are hot blooded, unless you're part of the X-men crew, then you have other issues) I'm loving taking over the world (How exactly are you doing this while getting drunk in a 7-11 parking lot?)
Hot blooded, all american girl (Whoa) (thanks for the second "hotblooded" reference. I was all, "are you sure you're hot blooded? You can never be too sure." and when you re-sang it, I thought, "yeah, she's totally hotblooded, she said it twice.") I was raised by a television (no argument here.)
Every day is a competition (Who are you competing against? the hobo in the opposite corner of the parking lot? If so, give up, that guy is a pro). Put the key in my ignition (Oh-way-oh) (a. you don't have a car, and b. I'm pretty sure you're just being a ho-bag when you say that, not actually asking someone to start a car for you, because really, I doubt you have one).
That's pretty much the gist. besides repeating most of the above, she goes on about getting drunk and partying. I believe there's a mad-libs out there for writing songs these days. just add your own noun, adjectives, verbs, and pro-nouns and you have a hit! You can pick it up at Old Navy in the "impulse buy" area of the line next to the Dora coloring book and the fake mustaches.
Although I will fully admit to listening to pop hits today and liking them because I am a nerd that likes a good beat, I couldn't let this one slide. I'm off to listen to some Rock for a bit to cleanse my brain.